Episode 096
Kendra Adachi, the New York Times Bestselling author and self-proclaimed “Pollyanna with a Clipboard” is here today to make us laugh, think, and grow as we embrace what matters, ditch what doesn’t, and get stuff done.
The principles from her book The Lazy Genius are life changing—truly! Her book, her podcast, her Instagram, her website, this interview…everywhere Kendra shows up, she makes an impact! I’m thrilled to be sharing this joy-filled conversation with you…you can hear us smiling the whole time!
We dive into a few principles from her Lazy Genius life philosophy and then go beyond those to unpack all things motherhood that we wish would shift so that moms can begin to drop the guilt, genuinely support one another, and thrive! She puts the power back in our mama hearts, minds, hands, and calendars.
Kendra’s Bio: Kendra Adachi is a bestselling author and podcast host. As a systems expert and professional permission giver, Kendra helps others stop doing it all for the sake of doing what matters. She lives in North Carolina with her husband and three kids.
In This Episode, Kendra & I Talk About:
- What it means to be a “Lazy Genius”
- Feeling like yourself every day
- Thoughts on being a professional permission giver
- Lazy Genius Principle #4: Live in the Season
- Acknowledging when our seasons are changing
- “Living in your season means letting your frustrations breathe but not be in charge.” (page 63)
- “You can desire things that someone else doesn’t. You can struggle with something that gives someone else joy. You can care about what matters to you even if that doesn’t matter to someone else, and we can lovingly and compassionately exist together in that tension.” (page 61)
- Coexisting with other parents who parent differently than we do
- Enjoying (and not enjoying!) the baby and toddler stages
- Thoughts for moms who find themselves in a season that they have discovered they don’t really enjoy
- Bringing ourselves back into the moment
- Parenting differently from other parents (spoiler: that’s all of us)
- My parenting philosophy: “My parenting choices are not a commentary on other people’s. Other people’s parenting choices are not a commentary on mine.”
- Lazy Genius Principle #8: Let People In
- Invite people over…cook a meal or not, have a clean house or not, wear lipstick or not
- Mess does not equal vulnerability
- Needing other people
- Letting people into your “regular” everyday life things
- The need to be an active participant in our friendships and relationships
- Looking at our expectations when making friends with other moms
- Hanai family—what it means and why we need it
- “I’ve grown to embrace what matters in friendships—honesty, vulnerability, and growing closer through conflict.” (page 113)
- Conflict exists in healthy relationships—friendships, marriages, all of them
- Conflict shines a light on what matters most to us and others
- Letting go of the lies we tell ourselves about conflict
- Looking at where our beliefs are around conflict
- Starting small with your connections
- The role of forgiveness in relationships and conflict
- A conflict-informed relationship
- Perspective: Conflict is worth it!
- Ordinary over glamorous
- You don’t have to run out and start a book club, you can start with asking a mom at the park if she’s read anything lately and go from there
- Creating systems in our home and relationships
- The 3 steps in going in the right order: name what matters, calm the crazy, trust yourself
- Strategies for putting an end to nagging
- Kendra’s beautiful perspective on conflict resolution
- Beginning with connection
- Lazy Genius Principle #12: Schedule Rest
- What the difference is between laziness and rest
- What rest looks like for moms and how it’s different for all of us!
- Social media is designed to be a time suck
- Resting is not simply “sitting down”
- Giving yourself permission to do what you need individually to feel like yourself and then schedule it
- Stop feeling guilty about having needs
- Lazy Genius Principle #13: Be Kind to Yourself
- “I want to stop judging women who have it all together, assuming they have something to hide. I want to stop applauding chaos as the only indicator of vulnerability.” (page 16)
- “Yes, others have beautiful insight, and it’s a gift to listen and receive it, but not at the expense of your own voice.” (page 161)
- There’s a disconnect in how we view confidence
- Someone else’s confidence is not an indictment on us
- We need to allow each other to live in the kindness that we show
- Our movement toward other people is often a reflection on how we feel about ourselves
- Nail polish mention: Olive & June
Kendra’s Links: Website, Instagram, Podcast, and Book
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SPONSORS
Branch Basics: Thanks to Branch Basics for supporting today’s episode of Elevating Motherhood! Branch Basics is an educational company that offers non-toxic, simple to use cleaning solutions for your home—using one powerful, plant & mineral based cleaning concentrate. You can literally use their one concentrate to clean everything…from bathrooms & windows to floors & laundry. Simply dilute their safe, effective cleaner into their refillable bottles. The instructions are right on the label. Branch Basics has been an amazing addition to our home. I’m always looking for ways to reduce my family’s toxic burden & Branch Basics fits the bill. Plus their goals align with mine…to make cleaning sustainable, affordable, and simple…all without the use of gmos or animal testing. Head over to elevatingmotherhood.com/branchbasics for more information.
Bookshop.org: Book lists are one of my favorite things (besides reading books & listening to audiobooks!). I love it when other bookworms share lists of their favorite books and wish lists for what they plan on reading next. It gets me excited about reading, introduces me new authors, topics, and genres, and takes the overwhelm out of sorting through massive online search results for things like “best parenting books” and “best books for children.”
After years of leaning into other people’s booklists, I’ve decided to create my own and share them with you! Over at bookshop.org/shop/loribeth I’m curating lists of my favorite children’s picture books, favorite family read alouds, homeschool resources, nature-based books, poetry books, as well as my very own wish list AND books by authors we’ve heard here on the show. It’s something I’ll be growing slowly over time, but I can’t wait any longer…I want to share all of these amazing titles with you now!
The best part about using bookshop.org to curate these lists is that the site supports local and independent bookstores. To date they have raised over $12 million for local bookstores. I’m honored to be part of their mission in their incredible work. Check out my book lists and tons of others at: https://bookshop.org/shop/loribeth
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