Episode 158

This is a high energy conversation. For some reason it’s highly political at the moment to talk about boys, men, gender, and masculinity. And here we are as moms, right smack dab the middle of the over-politicized nonsense, trying to have meaningful marriages with our husbands and raise our sons well in a world that bashes boys and men.

We need to talk about the tension—both the undercurrent in our culture and the outright hatred toward men. We need to stand up for our sons and raise them up at the same time. In this interview you’ll hear me tell the story about how when I found out I was pregnant at 40, I knew I was going to have a son. I knew I was going to be called to speak out about the war on men happening in our current culture.

My guest today is Durenda Wilson…she is a friend of mine but also a brilliant writer and podcaster. I look to her a lot for homeschool and parenting advice. She speaks out on this subject with so much grace and encouragement. Her perspective really takes the charge off our current cultural messaging and puts tools and encouragement back in the hands and hearts of moms so we can show up well in our marriages and in our motherhood.

You’ll leave this conversation feeling equipped as a boy mom and have a better understanding of what true masculinity is.

Durenda Bio: Durenda Wilson has been married to Darryl for 34 years. He wanted two children and she wanted ten. They compromised at eight. Durenda has over 30 years of homeschool experience. She also has 11 grandchildren (7 are boys) who are also being homeschooled. Dureing her years of experience in home education, she has seen first hand how kids learn naturally and effectively when they are given time and space along with encouragement to trust their own learning processes. She wants to take this hard-earned wisdom and mentor moms—she believes an encouraged mom is always a better mom. Durenda began The Durenda Wilson Podcast for this purpose back in July 2017 which grew quickly and gained recongnition with both families and leaders in the homeschool community. Durenda has over 500 episodes to choose from and boasts over 3 million downloads!

In This Episode, Durenda & I Talk About:

Raising Boys to Men: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Raising and Homeschooling Boys
Free audiobook with order
Being a mom in a boy heavy family
Homeschooling for over 30 years
What prompted Durenda to write a book about raising boys to men
Respecting the differences between boys and girls
Understanding our sons
Our culture has become hostile toward men (and God)
Alleviating overwhelm in moms
Moms are busy
Reacting vs responding to our boys
Boys are learning from their wild mistakes
Boys’ natural desire to lead and conquer…and they need our help to learn discernment and appropriateness
Knowing I was going to have a son and why
Parenting boys and girls differently
Encouragement for moms regardless of their upbringing
The need to acknowledge differences in boys and
Looking to the men in our life for insight and example when raising boys
Consistency of character—showing up as the same person but meeting every child’s needs individually
Ease in motherhood
Raising dragon slayers in the time of dragons
Learning from moms who have gone before us
Use fewer words with our boys
Laying aside our need to use a lot of words
The need for humility
Women are strong—emotionally, spiritually, etc.
Remembering our sons will be married one day
Modeling what healthy relationships look like
Maturity: how are sones are wired
We all change and grow…people who don’t suffer
Acknowledging unrealistic expectations
Being a student of your children
Vertellis (card game)
Grandma Huck’s house
God always provides for a child
Setting up our homes with intention and with legacy in mind
The tone of our home
It comes down to the simple things
Dealing with ongoing issues with siblings
Drive-thru talking
The consequences of unresolved issues
Gender confusion—ruling through chaos
Kids crave identity and value (things that parents can provide without confusion)
Stupidity is not sustainable
Step outside the chaos
Personality type: master of chaos
Asking questions
Durenda’s take on one-on-one time with kids
Honoring our sons for who they are
Employing and exhausting our boys
“It is the working man who is the happy man, it is the idle man who is the miserable man.” -Ben Franklin
Boys need a mission—it is essential
Three questions of boys: Who is in charge? Who is on my team? What’s the mission?
Questions are the answer
How do we involve dads in mothering our sons?
Martyrdom motherhood
Making sure our sons have quality time with their dads
Letting boys wrestle with dad
Respond instead of react
Understanding typical childhood development
Creating a home environment that is not hostile toward boys
Not everything has to be a heavy
“I really respect this about you…”
Spiritual leadership in marriage
The best part of marriage…being on the inside of someone else’s personal growth
Advice for single moms
God knows exactly where you are
Trail Life USA
American Heritage Girls USA
A better understanding of what true masculinity is
Be equipped to apply principles within the four walls of your home
Every family walking out God’s calling for our lives
Durenda’s podcast has 3 million downloads