Episode 197
Today’s episode is a special because we’re pulling it from the archives.
A few years ago, I sat down with two of my dearest friends, fellow podcasters, and my co-hosts of The FOCUS Retreat, Jennifer Ford Berry and Amy Debrucque, to have a conversation that every mom needs—but hardly anyone is talking about.
For whatever reason, the original audio from my side of the conversation never uploaded correctly, so this interview has been tucked away all this time because of a technical issue. I’ve grown in my editing skills though and was able to figure it out! And as I listened back recently, I realized something…
This conversation is just as relevant today as it was the day we recorded it.
Whether your baby is still in diapers, you’re in the middle of the school years, your teenager just got their driver’s license, or you’ve recently become an empty nester, the relationship you hope to have with your children when they leave home doesn’t begin the day they pack their bags.
It begins today.
It begins with the culture you’re creating in your home, the words you speak, the trust you’re building, the way you respond to change, and the example you’re setting.
In this conversation, we talk about what it really feels like when your children begin leaving the nest—not just for them, but for you and even for the siblings they leave behind. We discuss the grief that can catch you off guard, the joy of watching your children become independent, and the mindset shifts that help us parent with open hands instead of clenched fists.
You’ll hear us talk about becoming an “open nester” instead of an “empty nester,” why it’s so important not to keep our kids small, how to prepare them with the life skills and confidence they’ll need to launch well, and why it’s never too late to change the patterns in our homes.
One of my favorite reminders from this conversation is something Amy says: “You can’t talk to your kids enough.” And Jennifer’s encouragement not to keep our kids small has stayed with me ever since.
If you’ve ever wondered how to prepare your children to leave home while also preparing your own heart, I think you’ll find so much encouragement here.
And if your kids are still little, don’t skip this episode thinking it’s for someone else. The foundation for launching our children well is laid years before they ever leave. The attitudes, habits, and relationships we cultivate now matter more than we realize.
So grab a cup of coffee, settle in, and enjoy this conversation with my sweet friends, Jennifer Ford Berry and Amy Debrucque.
In this episode we talk about:
Open nester vs. empty nester
The transition from needing you all the time
The change that happens when kids get their driver’s license
Daily independence vs. financial independence
Differences based on boys vs. girls leaving the nest
Differences with number of kids
Grieving unexpected things with their departure
Song: Crowded Table by Highway Women
Every flight is different
Mindset through our whole motherhood journey
The parallel between school breaks and when your kids fly the nest
The selfless nature of motherhood
Kids still at home with their siblings leave home
Life 360 App
Giving them messages of security and encouragement
Making sure we lay a secure foundation and not one of nagging and mistrust
Learning from our realizations and taking action from there
Pivoting and adapting
WE NEED TO MODEL FOR OUR KIDS
It’s never to late to change
How moms change when kids leave the nest
Mistakes they made when their kids first left the nest
Being more aware
Figure our what draws your kids in and what drives them away
Taking up hobbies as a mom in this season for rejuvenation
Talking with moms who have gone before you in this season
Acknowledging the grief
Preparing your child to launch – was there a list of skills you want them to have before they leave home?
Open communication within a family
Becoming less offended
“You can’t talk to your kids enough.” -Amy Debrucque
Realistic expectations
Talking through how to navigate situations
Building up their courage
Dealing with homesickness
“Don’t keep your kids small.” – JFB
Be careful with the words you speak to your children about change
Stepping down as a parent
Preparing siblings for their sibling’s departure
How boy/girl dynamics vary family to family
Encouraging kids to include one another
Be the leader for your children to nurture sibling relationships
A response to “no one is talking about this”
Know a mom who’s kid just flew the nest? Reach out to them!
You’re going to need friends in this season…stay connected!
Jennifer’s Bio: Jennifer is the host of the Making Room podcast (formerly The 29 Minute Mom podcast) and the founder of the Created Order Neighborhood, an online community of women who want to live a life of order and purpose. She is the author of five books, including the Organize Now! series and her latest, Make Room. Jennifer was previously the regular organizing expert on the TV show Winging It, Buffalo Style. , and has appeared as a guest expert on several television and radio shows, as well as in national magazines and newspapers. Jennifer lives in Florida with her husband and two children. She works both hands-on and virtually with her clients to help them eliminate clutter and live their dreams.
Link to Jennifer’s Podcast: The Make Room Show https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/make-room-show/id1664260193
Amy’s Bio: Amy is the host of Life On Purpose Podcast and creator of the Confidence Course, a program designed to help women rebuild their self-esteem and take ownership of their relationships and life goals. As a wife, mother, confidence coach, author, cancer survivor, and encourager, Amy is committed to her faith in God, which gives her the courage to be intentional in all areas of her life. She released her first book, Embolden, in 2021, reminding women that although fear is normal, courage gets the final say. Her work has been featured in numerous magazines, podcasts, and online media outlets including Thrive Global, Womenencouraged.com, In Dependent, Displaying Grace, For Every Mom, Your Tango, Today Parenting, and Darling Magazine.
Link to Amy’s Podcast: Life on Purpose Podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-on-purpose-podcast-with-amy-debrucque/id1498212623
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