It took me a long time to read Nicole Unice’s new book The Miracle Moment: How Tough Conversations Can Actually Transform Your Most Important Relationships. Not because it was hard to read or uninteresting, but the opposite! I felt like I was holding an insider’s manual to therapy and self awareness right in my hands and wanted to take in every word! This is another one of those read that changed me. It got me thinking about what it looks like and what actions, words, and ideas it takes to build healthier relationships, have stronger & clearer communication with loved ones, as well as thoughts on how to get closer to my true self and heal some pretty important parts.
The best part? I had some questions for Nicole about the book and what she meant and she answers with such grace and clarity. What a gem! Her theories and tools apply to all areas of life: motherhood, parenting, marriage, extended family, work and business relationships, neighbors, friends—all of it! This book has something for everyone. If you have an area of your life that has you feeling like you could probably use a few more communication tools…this book, this conversation is for you!
Nicole’s Bio: Nicole Unice is a counselor and leadership coach who facilitates environments of safety and vulnerability so that leaders and teams can courageously identify obstacles keeping them from their maximum potential. As a sought-after speaker, Nicole has a down-to-earth style that allows even the largest gathering to feel conversational. Nicole is the author of several books focused on spiritual transformation and is a featured speaker through RightNow Media and Punchline. She holds degrees from the College of William and Mary and from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. Nicole and her husband, Dave, live in Richmond, Virginia, with their three children and two pups. Visit her online at nicoleunice.com.
In this episode Nicole & I talk about:
- A holistic approach to life
- How Nicole’s path led her to the book
- Sense of belonging
- Belonging as a constant theme in our lives
- Belonging as spiritual work
- Slow unfolding and making time for slow
- Nicole’s book The Miracle Moment
- Her book as a resource
- Counseling and therapy tools for everyday conversations and relationships
- Being in alignment with ourselves
- Expressing yourself in a way that’s humble and clear
- Backing up words with actions
- Having more tools in your communication toolbox
- Healthy boundaries
- Normalizing ups and downs in life
- We’re capable of change and growth
- What are the characteristics of the person you want to be?
- What is “The Miracle Moment”
- What happens when we get upset
- Staying present after our initial reaction
- Miracles happen in the disruption
- Miracles as planned experiences
- Our life’s work to become more free, healthy, and whole
- Small is big
- Curiosity over condemnation
- Getting curious about our responses
- Reckoning our value judgements about where we are
- Doing the work of self-knowledge
- Bible study series that goes with The Miracle Moment
- Verbal and non-verbal communication
- Being your own life scientist
- Societal messaging that are getting in the way of our miracle moments
- Self-awareness is the pre-requisite for miracle moments
- Worst Case Scenario Game
- Deeper fears in a younger place in our souls
- Using worst case fears as invitations for growth
- Doing the work
- Unpacking what Nicole meant when saying “the common good” in her book
- Mutual Flourishing
- The third living energy that is a relationship
- Sleepover example
- Negotiation tactics
- The “Feararchy” hierarchy
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of violation
- Fear of loss of control
- Fear of failure
- Fear of extinction
- I’m not as right as I think I am
- I’m not as wrong as I think I am
- The path to the middle? Curiosity
Nicole’s Links: Website and Instagram
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