I would bet money that no one understands “vs. culture” better than moms. We’re thrown into it from the moment we decide to start trying or find out we’re pregnant. In an instant, we’re thrown into hospital birth vs. homebirth questions, breastfeeding vs. formula, cloth diapers vs. disposable, this brand vs. that brand, that car seat vs. this car seat. It’s overwhelming and at the end of the day feels like nothing less than a freight train of advertising campaigns, personal opinions that feel more like personal attacks, and social pressure to “pick a side” and stick to it in every anti vs. pro argument out there.
We’re told we have to buy the whole package or align with one side—and there is no opting out, you have to choose and you can’t switch sides. But we know that this just isn’t true.
Examples of Vs. Culture:
- Hospital vs. homebirth
- Breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding
- Homeschool vs. public school vs. private school
(Homeschool even has secular vs. religious)
- Vaccinated vs unvaccinated
- Masks vs. no masks
- Meat eaters vs. vegans
- Android vs. iPhone
- Pro-life vs. pro-choice
- Republican vs. Democrat
Vs. Culture Affects Us on So Many Levels:
- Larger culture
Vs. Culture Messaging is Toxic Because:
- Creates division
- Fosters self-doubt
- Makes people feel like they can’t change their minds
- Shuts people off to listening to or considering other “sides”
- Gives the illusion of a “one size fits all” answer (which is your side and not the other side)
- It disempowers us
- Creates disconnect and tension
- Pits people against each other
- Encourages you to align with a collective instead of your true self
It all comes down to connection. Moms want to feel heard and understood. They want to be seen as the whole woman they are. Kids want to feel connected, too. So does everyone. We want to feel connected to our friends, our family, our home, the world around us. But we aren’t going to find connection in messages that take away our power, feed us impossible expectations, leave us impaired and physically and emotionally frazzled, or drive a wedge between us and the ones we love.
What We Can Do About It:
- Be aware of it—consciously bring it to mind when reading, talking, etc. (mindset)
- Opt out of the narrative
- Call it out when you see it
- Stop sharing memes or messages on social media that create divide
- Normalize differences
- Align your actions and values: if you believe there is no one size fits all answer for anything ever, then act, speak, and live that belief
- Come up with a new response: “I don’t buy into the vs. messaging. I make space for listening, understanding, and change. I believe others have the right to choose what is best for them and their family.”
- Know yourself
Let’s Keep Talking About This!
- On Instagram: @loribethauldridge + @elevatingmotherhood
- Through the contact form here on the website
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Blossom & Root. Today’s episode of Elevating Motherhood is sponsored by Blossom & Root a nature-based, Charlotte Mason inspired homeschool curriculum company that has been gently guiding and supporting families for years! This thoughtful, age appropriate curriculum begins at the preschool level with options all the way up to 4th grade with more grade levels being released each year.
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For more information about Blossom & Root, head over to www.elevatingmotherhood.com/homeschool